segunda-feira, 4 de junho de 2012

You know you're from Montreal when:

• You pronounce it "Muntreal", not "Mahntreal".
• You have ever said anything like "I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep."
• Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.
• You agree that Montréal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud of their nerves of steel.
• The most exciting thing about the South Shore is that you can turn right on a red.
• You know that the West Island is not a separate geographical formation.
• You bring smoked meat from Schwartz's and bagels from St-Viateur if you're visiting anyone.
• You refer to Tremblant as "up North."
• You know how to pronounce Pie-IX.
• You greet everyone, you meet with a two-cheek kiss.
• You're not impressed with hardwood floors.
• You can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for at least 25 years.
• You were drinking café-au-lait before it was latte.
• Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en gros, and PFK is finger lickin' good.
• You really believe Just For Laughs is an international festival. For two weeks a year.
• Everyone, – drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists – think they're immortal, and that you'll move first.
• You're proud that Montréal is home of the Great Antonio...
• You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.
• You've seen Brother André's heart.
• No matter how bilingual you are, you still don't understand "île aux tourtes."
• You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.
• You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.
• You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.
• You know that Montréal is responsible for introducing to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat.
• You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.
• You have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you've never been in grade 12.
• There has to be at least 30 cm of snow on the ground in 24 hours to consider it too snowy to drive.
• You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.
• You used to be an Expos fan, but now all you really miss is Youppi.
• You know that your city's reputation is for beautiful women.
• You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.
• "The Futuristic City" is actually Habitat '67.
• You find it amusing when people from outside Québec compliment you on how good your English is.
• You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Métro PA system.
• You think of Old Montréal as nothing but a bunch of over-priced restaurants, old buildings.
• You understand that La Fête Nationale is not a celebration of "Québec's birthday"
• You don't find American comedians speaking "gibberish" French even remotely funny.
• You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner downtown.
• You know the words to the national anthem in French.
• You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
• You use a down comforter in the summer.
• Your parents drive at 120km/h through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
• You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
• You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
• You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.

Seria melhor se a lista estivesse em francês, mas tudo bem... Montreal é bilingue mesmo.
Eu ainda nem comecei, mas um dia quem sabe eu não tico toda a lista? Ou se não tico eu critico, pois aí já terei minha opinião formada sobre como é o vrai montréalais.


6 comentários:

  1. c'est la vie .....
    mas em quase 5 anos de QC, nunca tive paciência pra encarar a fila do Schwartz's rsrsrsrs

    1. haha, outro dia vi no fb de alguém que qdo vc quiser se sentir invisível basta ir no balcão do Schwartz's.

  2. Adorei a lista, meus colegas já comentaram sobre as minhas habilidades em jaywalking, hehe.
    E o atendimento o Schwartz's nem é tão ruim assim, é só a fila gigante na frente que assusta.

    1. hum... cuidado pra dps não ter que escrever um post sobre os hospitais de Montréal hein! Eu já não sei se confio tanto nos motoristas quebecas, ou na minha desenvoltura para driblá-los.

  3. long way....
    grande abraco, sumida...a gente chega lah...
    vamo que vamo!!